Anyway, I don’t have a great deal of news, seems I’ve been too wrapped up in my own stuff to pay much attention to France [...]]]> It’s been a while since the last post. I’ve been busy with a renovation project and I’ve been on holiday (which I needed after lugging plasterboard, etc up and down ladders!).

Anyway, I don’t have a great deal of news, seems I’ve been too wrapped up in my own stuff to pay much attention to France in general – except the Tour De France, which almost got exciting

One thing I have found that could prove to be very useful to you is a new website which lists all kinds of English speaking businesses: EnglishSpeakingFrance.com.

If you haven’t quite got the hang of speaking French yet, or you’re comfortable having a chat to your neighbours but worried when it come to dealing with builders, banks, insurance etc., then this might be just what you’re looking for.

The site’s pretty new, but I’ve had a word with the owners and they’re adding new listings every day to build it up. They would also like to hear from you if you are having trouble finding a trade or service.

If you have your own business in France you can add a simple listing for free – although you might want to take advantage of an upgrade to give yourself more impact (which is hardly going to break the bank at just a couple of Euros a month).

Businesses of any kind can be listed, including gites and chambre d’hotes – and English or French – the only rule is that you must have at least one person who can speak English. More details here.

It will be interesting to see how it develops. I read somewhere that there are a couple of thousand English speaking businesses in France so they’ve got their work cut out!

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La bière is what we’re talking about. French [...]]]> OK, so it’s not exactly an online French class – you can’t answer back or pass notes to each other – but I hope this little insight into French beer will give you a slightly better command of the language. It will help you get a drink too!

La bière is what we’re talking about. French beer is mostly a light, lager-type brew and quite weak – around 3%. It’s also not huge on taste, but the french aren’t big beer drinkers. It’s something to satisfy a thirst on a warm day – if they want thoughtful, complex drinking, they have wine.

There are exceptions, of course. The north east is well-known for its beer and you can cross the border into Belgium for all manner of brews – some of which are black as night and strong as whisky! If you go into Paris or any of the large cities you’ll find bottled beers to satisfy the connoisseur too.

Out in the countryside though, in the majority of towns and villages, you’ll normally find just a choice of one on tap, and maybe a couple of others in bottles. The beer on tap is invariably cheaper.

French beer is usually served by the 1/4 litre. You can ask for a pression (which means draught) but it’s more common to ask for a demi – which confusingly means half, although it’s a quarter litre. Don’t ask me why! By the way, that’s une pression or une demi because beer is feminine.

You never hear people ask for un verre de bière which would be a glass of beer (un, because the glass is masculine and comes before the beer).  A bottle of beer is une bouteille de bière (une because bottle – bouteille – is feminine). It’s more likely that you would ask for the beer by name if you are asking for a bottle – une bouteille de Kronenbourg, par example (for example).

In most parts of France you can also have half a half. Confused? You can get half a demi which is known as a bok. You’d probably get a funny look if you asked for une bok in a bar in Paris but out in the sticks, drinking with your French friends, it’s a politely small amount to have if you’re just about to leave but someone insist they buy you a drink. Une bok, merci.

You can also get half litre and even litre glasses in towns and cities. You’ll seldom see the French drinking out of one, so basically it just marks you out as a tourist!

That’s about it for today’s online French class, except a little note about French beer prices and how they vary depending on where you sit. Sound strange? I’ll explain.

Normally you don’t need to go to the bar. Find a table and sit and a waiter will come over. Not always quickly – but that’s France. If you sit inside the bar you will get charged a certain price. If you sit outside the bar – on a sunny terrace or a  street corner – it’s quite normal for you to be charged extra – even if it’s only a couple of feet further away. If you go to the bar and stand there to order your drink, and drink it at the bar, you will pay less than at an inside table – but you might well get frowned at! The bar owner and the waiters will often try to intercept you and steer you to a table.

As a general rule I’ll sit at a table at first, until I get to know the staff. If I go in with friends we’ll sit at a table. If I’m just popping in on my way past, having a quick beer on the way home, I will probably stand at the bar – but only once they’ve got to know me.

There you go – an online French lesson in French beer etiquette – whatever next!

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Jeff has allowed me to take some extracts from his book so I thought I would do posts every so often giving you [...]]]> My friend Jeff has written a book about buying a house in France – or a French farmhouse – or whatever. It’s appropriate if you are looking for a French renovation project too.

Jeff has allowed me to take some extracts from his book so I thought I would do posts every so often giving you a rough outline of some of France’s regions. A short, sharp sample if you like, rather than an exhaustive exploration.

If you’re looking at buying a house in France I would recommend you get a copy of The French Property Buyer’s Guide for yourself. Two reasons. First, I promised Jeff I would recommend it well I would, wouldn’t I! But actually it is a good overview of what you can expect, what you should do and what you should watch out for.

It’s only $14.95 and it’s an ebook so you can download it to your computer and be reading it in five minutes. What’s more, Jeff will give you your money back if you don’t find it useful. Can’t say fairer than that! Get your copy here.

Here’s that first extract. If you’re looking at buying a house in France in the north:

The North Coast: Nord Pas De Calais, Picardie, Normandy and Brittany

Not surprisingly, given it’s proximity, this area is very popular with the British. There are many ferry services to and from England and also the channel tunnel with it’s fast rail link. It’s so popular in fact that it’s not unusual to find an English pub, a fish and chip shop or a cricket team.

For some this is ideal and helps cushion the culture shock of a different country. Others perhaps are looking for a more French experience and so may wish to look in other departments.

If you’re looking for little fishing villages hugging a rugged shoreline, there are plenty of them. Nord Pas De Calais borders Belgium and has immaculate beaches and the famous resort of Le Touquet. Picardy (Picardie in French) has a short coastline and is less well known generally although it too has well kept beaches. Not the best area of France for sunbathing perhaps, with weather like the south of England, but a nice area if you like the countryside. Conversely there are areas inland which were at the centre of the French industrial revolution and much of the manufacturing heritage is still evident.

The coast around Normandy and Brittany (the French call it Bretagne) offers the more attractive areas in my opinion – although you may feel differently. The important ports of Dieppe, Caen, Cherbourg, Le Havre and St. Malo are all in this area making it popular and very busy. Parts of Le Havre are heavily industrialized but the harbour itself on a misty Spring morning is stunning. Dieppe feels a bit more personal, a bit more friendly and has an olde worlde sort of charm. To be fair, each port has it’s own character and all are worth a visit though these towns themselves aren’t places I would choose to live.

In lower Normandy (Basse Normandie) you’ll find Deauville and Trouville which were made popular by the Victorians and still retain a great deal of the feel of a wealthy yesteryear although going a bit threadbare round the edges perhaps. Still very popular however, with the French as well as expats, they provide some of the most expensive property in the whole region. This is also the area of the famous beaches of the D-Day invasions.

Brittany has Dinan and Dinard which are both lovely places to visit with enticing narrow streets in the older parts of town and lots of restaurants and cafes. Bretons, as the locals are known, are as fierce as any about their heritage and don’t need much of an excuse for a party to celebrate some aspect of it. The coast here is a bit wilder, particularly in the west. It’s very much to my taste but not perhaps to everyone’s. When it gets a bit windy you’ll definitely need a good coat. Invigorating though!

Inland these departments provide a range of different environments. There are forests, farmland and, in the main, gently rolling countryside. It’s littered with half-timbered houses for which the region is famous, abbeys, chateaux and a good number of more recent tourist attractions. There are plenty of orchards as well in Normandy – producing the delicious brandy-styled Calvados. The region also makes Benedictine, a herbal liqueur usually taken as a digestif after dinner.

The popularity with foreign buyers has, as you would expect, resulted in big rises in property prices over recent years. Coastal areas, particularly if there’s a view of the sea, are expensive by French standards and not always cheap by English ones! Things are generally more stable now than a couple of years back – as they are across the French property market – but this is still a sought after area for many and most of the real bargains are long gone.

If you’re looking for a renovation project for €20,000 you’re not going to find it here. You will however find good value property away from the coast and renovation opportunities still exist, you just have to be more realistic about it than ten years ago.

Extract from: The French Property Buyer’s Guide

I don’t mean anything dirty or smutty here – I mean the fact that when you’re learning to speak French you need to remember that everything is either masculine or feminine. It’s either le (male) or la (female) for “the” [...]]]> One of the biggest problems I have had with learning to speak French is the sex!

I don’t mean anything dirty or smutty here – I mean the fact that when you’re learning to speak French you need to remember that everything is either masculine or feminine. It’s either le (male) or la (female) for “the” – or un (male) or une (female) for “a”.

If you’re Spanish, Italian or Portuguese this is no big deal (those languages are constructed in the same way) and Germans have even add a neutral tense so that’s worse – but for us English speakers it’s something completely new. We just say “table” or “knife”, we don’t have to remember it’s Mrs Table and Mr Knife!

What would be useful would be if there were some pointers you could use – like all words beginning with “P” were masculine, for example.

No such luck. What’s worse is that things you would think were one thing, are the opposite. I don’t want to be sexist here but you would think a bra would be feminine, wouldn’t you?

Nope. Not in French. It’s masculine, le soutien-gorge. How can that be!!!?

So unfortunately there really is no way around it. When you learn the French for something you have to learn it’s gender too. It’s not the end of the world, and most times it doesn’t matter, but it can cause confusion on occasions because sometimes words can have le and la variations.

For example, le tour means a tour – like the tour de France cycle race or a tour around the countryside. La tour is a tower – the Eiffel Tower is la Tour Eiffel.

Le poêle is a stove but La poêle is a frying pan. Probably the worst is le mari, husband and la mari, marijuana!

Make the effort though and most French people will either politely correct you or ignore it. It’s frustrating at first if you are putting an effort into learning to speak French but it comes with practice.

Working the other way it’s usually easier. If it’s got an e on the end it’s usually feminine – la chaise, the chair. Stylo is pen. No e on the end so masculine – le stylo. Of course if the word has a vowel at the start they’ve got you again because they hide the le or la. L’enveloppe (yep, envelope) is actually femenine. L’éléphant (yep, elephant) is masculine.

So how can you tell? You can’t, but if you look at the ‘a’ or ‘an’ version it’s some help because an elephant is un éléphant, hence masculine. An envelope is une enveloppe, hence feminine.

Confused yet?

The point of all this, I suppose, is that when you start out learning to speak French you need some kind of structured help. Like the free lessons you can get from either of those two ads on the right. Just coming here and learning French on the fly can be done – but you’re making it more difficult for yourself than you need to.

Learning French in France helps enormously, of course, there’s no better way than immersing yourself in the culture and talking to French people every day. That’s not really practical for most people though – and even then I would still recommend some kind of course or lessons first, just so you get the basics down.

Learning a new language is always a challenge but it’s much easier now than when I was a kid and if you’re going to spend time here it’s well worth it. Not learning French means you miss out, not just on what’s going on around you, but also on a certain je ne sais quoi of French life.

Take advantage of the modern learning systems available and you’ll not only learn quicker, you’ll have more fun.

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When you buy things like fridges, freezers and the like in the UK, you normally get free delivery if you spend over [...]]]> One of the curiosities of living in France that we’ve found frustrating is the delivery of things like fridges and washing machines. Actually the same applies to building materials but that’s kind of different…

When you buy things like fridges, freezers and the like in the UK, you normally get free delivery if you spend over a certain amount – for arguments sake, let’s say it’s £50.00.

As most white goods are considerably more than that, free delivery is kind of a given. Not in France. What’s more, it’s common that the more you buy the more you pay for delivery!

I have a proud boast of having never been inside IKEA – not anywhere. But I have to admit I do like the look of some of their stuff. It’s just the concept of trawling around a store that puts me off.

However, in France IKEA will deliver (which they didn’t do in the UK when we left). I thought that would be great. Order up the kitchen, get it brought here, knock it all together. Job done. Not… Now it’s a while since I looked so they may have changed their policy but at the time the delivery was going to put an extra 500 Euros on the cost!

FIVE HUNDRED!!!!

Anyway, back to the washing machine (machine à laver). A couple of months ago one of our fridge freezers (frigo congélateur) went phutt. Not surprising, it was years old. So we go in search of a new one. The large supermarkets (supermarchés or grande surface) often have quite good deals so that’s where we went first. Good deals, yes, until you factor in delivery at between 30 and 60 Euros. On a fridge freezer costing 250 Euros that’s quite a chunk. It’s not that we’re that far away either – under twenty miles. In the end we bought from one of the large electrical retailers called BUT.

It’s bizarre to me that when you want to buy something like this you have to look at not just the price but the delivery as well. In our case we ended up getting a more expensive machine because the delivery was 30 euros less. What’s even more bizarre is that a BUT near you may not offer the same deal. Turns out that most of these stores are actually franchises and have a degree of autonomy when it comes to delivery charges, precisely what they stock, etc.

All that frustration changed last week with the ancient washing machine that finally gave up the ghost (fantôme ). Darty – another of the large chain electrical retailers – actually do free delivery. Hooray!!! Their prices are quite competitive too.

They even deliver on a Saturday. Two very competent guys turn up, insist in installing and making sure it works even though we told them it wasn’t necessary, and will also take the old machine away for you.

Next time I’m shopping for electrical goods, where do you suppose I will try first? How long do you suppose it will be before the other retailers cotton on? Hey, this is France, don’t hold your breath!

The truth, as usual, [...]]]> French kissing – the sort that the French do rather than the other sort – seems to have gotten a bit of a bad rap. To hear people talk it’s hardly safe to go out in public without some French person rushing up and plastering you with kisses. Male, female, young, old…

The truth, as usual, is somewhat less fruity!

The French do indeed kiss friends as a greeting. Usually on both cheeks. It’s often an air kiss between people who don’t know each other particularly well but close friends make contact. Depending on the region it might be two, three or even four kisses. If you’re in a bigish gathering this can take a while! You also kiss to say goodbye when you go home for the evening. Men kiss women, women kiss women…

…but I’ve very, very rarely seen men kiss men, and in fact the usual greeting for strangers, man or woman, is a handshake. Kissing is for friends. You don’t have to be much more than a casual acquaintance, it’s true, but it’s not for strangers. If you go up to a French person and try to kiss them the first time you meet you’ll be thought of as very forward, possibly rude.

The French are actually very polite, it’s just that as with most things in a foreign culture, knowing the rules for French kissing is not easy. Best advice is to watch and see what other people are doing.

So if in doubt, hold out your hand! The French always shake hands. I will shake the hand of a friend I meet in the street. Or someone I know who I meet in the bar. Or the mechanic I know at the garage. If someone comes to provide a service at my home, like fixing the phone, delivering a new freezer or quoting on some building work, I will invariably shake their hand. So will my wife.

We will not kiss them, no matter how good looking!

Neither do you kiss, or shake hands, absolutely every time you meet, just the first time each day. So if you meet someone in the morning having a coffee, you share the appropriate greeting. If you see them again that evening you would not normally greet them again beyond saying hello.Also, if you’re in a bar, for example, it’s not common to kiss or shake hands on leaving, but it would be if you were at someone’s house for dinner.

Confused yet? Like I said, best to watch what other people do. Quite often if you haven’t known someone at the start of an evening, let’s say at a dinner party, you would shake their hands when introduced. However, at the end of the evening, if you got on well, you might kiss to say goodnight.

French children seem automatically programmed to kiss from birth. I remember when we were first living in France being sat outside a bar and two young children arrived with their parents. We had never met before but both children came over and kissed us on the cheek. We were rather surprised at the time but their parents just gave us a friendly smile and a nod. The other thing we’ve had is children come up and present a cheek for us to kiss.

I’m not sure there is a rule for French kissing and you can be guaranteed that once you’ve learned what’s normal for a particular region it will change in a different one! The secret is to keep your wits about you, learn what is accepted as polite where you are and, if in doubt, shake hands. Actually, the secret is to accept it as part of being in France and not get stressed about it. If you are kissed, consider it a compliment – which is exactly what it is.

A typical French view?

Today’s words of wisdom (or waffle) are the later. Why did I choose to live [...]]]> Sometimes these posts will be full of useful stuff about living in France, working here, French wine, anything really. Other times it’ll just be something I feel like saying. Hey, it’s my blog after all

A typical French view?

Today’s words of wisdom (or waffle) are the later. Why did I choose to live in France?

Well for a start, I quite like the place. My wife and I have been visitors for more than fifteen years so it wasn’t a spur of the moment thing. In the end though, it was French houses that were the deciding factor.

We’re originally from the UK and like a lot of people dreamed of taking an old building or barn and putting our own stamp on it. Trouble is in England most of those places are bought by property developers and turned into “executive homes”. Result, to expensive.

We could afford France though. French property is not the bargain it was twenty or even ten years ago, but you still get more for your money than you do in the UK. What’s more the French prefer to buy new than renovate – which leaves all these lovely old farmhouses and manors for us ex-pats!

I’ll get into the whole “buying a house in France and renovating” thing in another post, but suffice it to say here we are, house bought and paid for. No mortgage, living debt free. Boy does that take the pressure off! If you’re living the life of stress that we used to then you have my sympathy.

The house is a bit of a wreck actually – big but in need of complete re-wring, plumbing, new floors in some places, a list too long to put here. We’ve done a fair bit but there’s a long way to go and the financial crisis didn’t do us too many favours because the exchange rate between UK sterling and the Euro (and the dollar and the Euro for that matter) has been awful – and most of my work is for those two countries.

Never mind, these things happen, and whilst work progresses somewhat more slowly than we hoped “la vie en France” is still very pleasant. I would definitely recommend it!

Probably not, but I’m going to do it anyway. Partly because I feel like it, partly because not everyone tells you all of the truth all of the time.

This blog isn’t going to [...]]]> So, does the world really need another blog about an English-speaking ex pat living in France and coping with all that French stuff?

Probably not, but I’m going to do it anyway. Partly because I feel like it, partly because not everyone tells you all of the truth all of the time.

This blog isn’t going to be about political machinations in Paris or up-to-date English language news from all over France. It’s going to be about my experiences as someone who lives and works here full-time. It’s not about retiring to the Dordogne (although it’s a subject I’ve got a few things to say about), it’s about real France, real French people, the fun, the grief, the banging of head against ancient two-foot thick walls, coping with French paperwork, tax, health, etc., and enjoying French food, wine, scenery, lifestyle, holidays…

Just about anything French I feel I want to comment on really. I hope it helps you too.

I think that will do for an introduction, More French life soon. If you want to post a comment, ask a question, share your experiences, please do.

A Bientôt (until later).

Frank