La bière is what we’re talking about. French [...]]]> OK, so it’s not exactly an online French class – you can’t answer back or pass notes to each other – but I hope this little insight into French beer will give you a slightly better command of the language. It will help you get a drink too!

La bière is what we’re talking about. French beer is mostly a light, lager-type brew and quite weak – around 3%. It’s also not huge on taste, but the french aren’t big beer drinkers. It’s something to satisfy a thirst on a warm day – if they want thoughtful, complex drinking, they have wine.

There are exceptions, of course. The north east is well-known for its beer and you can cross the border into Belgium for all manner of brews – some of which are black as night and strong as whisky! If you go into Paris or any of the large cities you’ll find bottled beers to satisfy the connoisseur too.

Out in the countryside though, in the majority of towns and villages, you’ll normally find just a choice of one on tap, and maybe a couple of others in bottles. The beer on tap is invariably cheaper.

French beer is usually served by the 1/4 litre. You can ask for a pression (which means draught) but it’s more common to ask for a demi – which confusingly means half, although it’s a quarter litre. Don’t ask me why! By the way, that’s une pression or une demi because beer is feminine.

You never hear people ask for un verre de bière which would be a glass of beer (un, because the glass is masculine and comes before the beer).  A bottle of beer is une bouteille de bière (une because bottle – bouteille – is feminine). It’s more likely that you would ask for the beer by name if you are asking for a bottle – une bouteille de Kronenbourg, par example (for example).

In most parts of France you can also have half a half. Confused? You can get half a demi which is known as a bok. You’d probably get a funny look if you asked for une bok in a bar in Paris but out in the sticks, drinking with your French friends, it’s a politely small amount to have if you’re just about to leave but someone insist they buy you a drink. Une bok, merci.

You can also get half litre and even litre glasses in towns and cities. You’ll seldom see the French drinking out of one, so basically it just marks you out as a tourist!

That’s about it for today’s online French class, except a little note about French beer prices and how they vary depending on where you sit. Sound strange? I’ll explain.

Normally you don’t need to go to the bar. Find a table and sit and a waiter will come over. Not always quickly – but that’s France. If you sit inside the bar you will get charged a certain price. If you sit outside the bar – on a sunny terrace or a  street corner – it’s quite normal for you to be charged extra – even if it’s only a couple of feet further away. If you go to the bar and stand there to order your drink, and drink it at the bar, you will pay less than at an inside table – but you might well get frowned at! The bar owner and the waiters will often try to intercept you and steer you to a table.

As a general rule I’ll sit at a table at first, until I get to know the staff. If I go in with friends we’ll sit at a table. If I’m just popping in on my way past, having a quick beer on the way home, I will probably stand at the bar – but only once they’ve got to know me.

There you go – an online French lesson in French beer etiquette – whatever next!

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They also have the same kind of regulatory body. Anybody can make cheese – or wine – [...]]]> The last post was about French wine so I thought I ought to give French cheese (fromage) a bit of a mention – especially as there seem to be almost as many varieties of cheese as there are wine!

They also have the same kind of regulatory body. Anybody can make cheese – or wine – but if you want it to be recognized as quality you need to abide by certain rules and regulations. If you do, you get your A.O.C. (Appellation d’origine contrôlée) which effectively translates as certified by the area of origin.

Or in other words, it’s quality stuff!

There is only one area in France that has both an AOC for its wine and its cheese, and that’s Valençay in the Loire valley. The Valencay cheese is a goats cheese and it’s called a pyramid (pyramide) because of its shape. The grey covering is ash (from various eaves), which helps preserve it and adds to the flavour.

So we have French cheese, goats and pyramid, but where does Napoleon come in?

Well it’s a story that explains why the pyramid has a flat top. Whether it’s true or not is anybody’s guess but it’s a fun tale so here goes:

Napoleon quite fancied being ruler of Egypt apparently, and off he went to war – as he did quite often. However, whether it was the sand or the heat or the Egyptians themselves, he had a pretty dreadful time. Took a bit of a battering and came home with his tail between his legs.

On his return to France he went to see his foreign minister, Charles Maurice De Talleyrand. Talleyrand lived in the chateau at Valençay and, of course, put on a feast for the Emperor.

Which wasn’t the good idea it might have seemed because at the end of the meal, out comes the cheese. Not a problem you might think, but the Valençay cheese is in the shape of a pyramid and that’s wasn’t something Napoleon wanted to be reminded of right then!

The story goes that he leaped up in fury, drew his sword and sliced the top off the pyramid – and it the cheese has been that shape ever since!

I’m going to keep trying [...]]]> I’m kidding of course. The best French wine? That’s as close to an impossible question as you’re likely to get. I’m trying to taste as many French wines as possible (purely for research you understand) but if I live to be a thousand I doubt I would get through them all!

I’m going to keep trying though – they don’t call me committed for nothing…

For me, trying to find the best French wine (vin Français) is a non-starter. I love French wine and I love trying the different flavors but it’s not to find a “best”. There are ones I like, and ones I don’t particularly, but you will very likely disagree with my choices. That’s the thing with French wines. There is such complexity and variety you could put a hundred people in a room and ask them to name their favorite and you would come up with a hundred different answers.

Which is no help to anyone!

So what I’ll do when I open a bottle is have a think about the region, the overall type and the kind of thing you might expect. Just to give you some idea when you’re shopping around – whether that’s here in France or at your local store.

I’m just as keen on red wine (vin rouge) as white (vin blanc) so we’ll have no favoritism. I believe you can get quite drinkable French wine for a few Euros too so we won’t have any of that thousand dollar a bottle nonsense that you hear about – unless someone would like to donate one to me!

As I’m quite a wine fan, albeit in a small way, I’ll also try and go into some of the particular French wine language, stuff like terroir. Try pronouncing it kind of like tearwrawr – you’ll be close-ish but you probably want to hear a French person say it to get it right!

Anyway, there you go. If you’ve got any questions about French wine – as long it isn’t “which is the best French wine?” – drop me a line and I’ll try to include an answer.
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